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Post by skh on Aug 20, 2017 18:28:38 GMT
I'm still a teen and maybe i shouldn't be worrying about this yet, but i feel like there's a lot of pressure on me to marry an Indian man. Like every time someone our family knows gets married to a non-indian person, EVERYONE talks shit about the behind their back. I don't have anyone in mind yet because like I said, i'm still very young, it's just that i'm scared for the future ya know? I grew up in a neighborhood where there aren't a lot of Indians and i just feel like if one day, I fall in love with a guy who isn't brown, (which i think is very likely because idk a lot of brown guys) my family's gonna disown me or something...
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Post by Haseeeeena on Aug 21, 2017 10:00:16 GMT
I personally just think you shouldn't worry about these things until they happen. Because when you expect the reaction to be bad it just causes anxiety.
My advice is to live your life how you want to, and if people want to talk shit let them talk shit. There's a reason they say it behind people's back and not to there faces.
Honestly the more you stop caring about people's opinions the more the weight on your shoulders decreases. It's as simple as that!
It's a long process to get like that but believe me sister it took me 23 years and I've never looked back.
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Post by GuardianAngel on Aug 21, 2017 12:56:09 GMT
Don't you worry about what everyone else thinks because it's your life and you have to live it not them. Yes it's easier to marry an Indian man because ur religious beliefs and other things are similar but if he doesn't love you what's the point? Marry a man who loves your soul may he be white or brown... For now study hard and watch the men chase you ! 🤣😁😘
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Married to a french guy!
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Post by Married to a french guy! on Aug 21, 2017 12:57:22 GMT
I'm getting married in a few days to a guy who is not Indian so here's a bit of advice from someone who did it! TL;DR - you've got ages before you need to worry about it  Don't worry about this: for the next decade you're going to be figuring out what you like, what you want to do and building your personality. It's too early to be thinking about marriage when you're still growing as a person - you might never want to get married! I never thought I would end up with someone who wasn't Indian but I grew into one because that's where my world and interests took me! What other people say: it's hard to deal with negative comments other people make about you. As much as we try not to care, it still affects us. However you don't need to worry about that now because of the reason above. When it happens, you'll have enough strength to overcome anything that gets thrown your way. Indian girls are extremely tough! About your family potentially disowning you: you can never plan for this because everyone reacts differently, especially when it's your own children. Your parents love you and they want to see you happy. They might take a while to understand but if you've chosen the right guy, they will see that he makes you happy. Also I've got my fingers crossed that by the time you're thinking about getting married, the world will be more accepting of weddings like mine. Choose the right guy: this is the hard part! Just make sure you're open about your situation and what is expected. Some people will go the extra mile for you and some won't. The right guy always will. He will never force you to do anything you don't want and he will be extremely accepting of who you are and your culture. |
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Post by imaindiangirl101 on Aug 21, 2017 16:07:54 GMT
Girl- let me tell you I can relate... I am also fairly young (enough that i won't be getting married in the near future) but I also feel that pressure. The city I grew up in and the schools I have gone to have not had any Indian kids my age either. Whenever I talk to my parents about my wedding they always reinforce that idea of marrying an Indian boy. I've even been "introduced" to some. But at the end of the day when you fall in love with someone regardless of their race or religion you guys will find a way to make it work. And on the note of your parents... I've found most of the time they want you to marry an Indian boy because they think it will be best for you. If you show them how happy the guy/girl your with makes you I'm willing to bet they just want that, for you to be happy.
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Post by anon on Aug 21, 2017 16:58:04 GMT
my advice would be that you shouldn't worry about this. if you find someone you love and treats you with respect, isn't brown then its your choice and his choice if you want to marry. no one elses. and if your family dont approve or chat shit then forget them. its all about your happiness, not theirs. you know want you want and who you're happy with. don't settle for someone you don't like just to impress some people because nothing good will come out of it. sometimes you need to think about yourself and your needs.
the point that I'm trying to get across is do what you need to for your happiness because you come first, you matter. don't let some self centered people stop you from living your life.
and also dont worry about this now. live your life, be happy and stop worrying <3
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Post by Elnasshd on Aug 21, 2017 18:04:12 GMT
I'm still a teen and maybe i shouldn't be worrying about this yet, but i feel like there's a lot of pressure on me to marry an Indian man. Like every time someone our family knows gets married to a non-indian person, EVERYONE talks shit about the behind their back. I don't have anyone in mind yet because like I said, i'm still very young, it's just that i'm scared for the future ya know? I grew up in a neighborhood where there aren't a lot of Indians and i just feel like if one day, I fall in love with a guy who isn't brown, (which i think is very likely because idk a lot of brown guys) my family's gonna disown me or something... omg this is literally me i live in the uk and I am not surrounded with Indians there are some but not many. I've grown up with the English culture I don't know any more q |
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Post by Z on Aug 21, 2017 21:29:58 GMT
I'm getting married in a few days to a guy who is not Indian so here's a bit of advice from someone who did it! TL;DR - you've got ages before you need to worry about it Don't worry about this: for the next decade you're going to be figuring out what you like, what you want to do and building your personality. It's too early to be thinking about marriage when you're still growing as a person - you might never want to get married! I never thought I would end up with someone who wasn't Indian but I grew into one because that's where my world and interests took me! What other people say: it's hard to deal with negative comments other people make about you. As much as we try not to care, it still affects us. However you don't need to worry about that now because of the reason above. When it happens, you'll have enough strength to overcome anything that gets thrown your way. Indian girls are extremely tough! About your family potentially disowning you: you can never plan for this because everyone reacts differently, especially when it's your own children. Your parents love you and they want to see you happy. They might take a while to understand but if you've chosen the right guy, they will see that he makes you happy. Also I've got my fingers crossed that by the time you're thinking about getting married, the world will be more accepting of weddings like mine. Choose the right guy: this is the hard part! Just make sure you're open about your situation and what is expected. Some people will go the extra mile for you and some won't. The right guy always will. He will never force you to do anything you don't want and he will be extremely accepting of who you are and your culture. I have had a white boyfriend for 3 years now- who my dad doesn't know about (mum refuses to talk about it) and this was so refreshing to read. Thankyou so much. I worry constantly about how my dad will react when he finds out. Part of me doesn't want to tell him until I decide I want to marry my boyfriend (something I can easily see myself doing) but part of me is hating every time I have to lie to them when I'm going to see him, and wants to tell my dad sooner. My boyfriend has been so amazingly patient with all of this- but I can't help but feel like this is all so unfair on him. I guess the important thing to remember is that he manages to make me so genuinely happy, and the only thing I know I never want is to spend the rest of my life regretting letting him go merely because I was scared of what my parents would say. |
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